We’ve been outed!

So I guess I knew it would happen sooner or later, with public openness in such a vast forum as the interweb, one is bound to have his views spread about to his locality. I think I messed up when I added a few of the wrong people to my facebook account, where I often publish links to my posts. Well someone has informed my Wife’s mother that we are Atheists.

Now, my wife, she isn’t an Atheist  (yet hehe). She says she doesn’t know, which is understandable, but that she definitely doesn’t believe in Jesus or Christianity. Now, let me just say, I didn’t have anything to do with this, somehow, some way, we ended up moving away from the faith at nearly the same exact time…one day we were sitting together talking and she brought it up…I NEVER DID, this was during the time where i couldn’t even express all my conflicting thoughts about my faith, so this was a HUGE relief for me. So anyway, her brother called her Saturday and asked her if she was an Atheist.

Someone told her mother, I don’t know who. Now the parents want to have a talk with us. This can’t be good. It’s not like I mind a whole lot, I have never really been ashamed of any of my beliefs or Non-beliefs….I was just trying to lay the hints in a more gentle manner…I make jokes and smart remarks about church and Jesus all the time…just waiting for them to put the pieces together. No one in the family really uses the internet…so i don’t have to worry about that part…which is why i have been so open here…they don’t know what Google is…i thought i was safe…why did i let you people on facebook know about this? Well at least I don’t have to worry about being found out anymore huh?

The reason I didn’t want them to know yet is multifold; they refuse to listen to anyone,  they think I have brainwashed Monica, they think we are going to hell, they want to preach at us, they will want to get their pastor involved to come talk to us…and my biggest concern…is Mema…Monica’s grandmother…not only will she not understand, it will hurt her and make her anxious—that’s the last thing i want. So…i don’t know if she even knows yet…if they are smart down there they will know better…and anyone else that reads the things I post here will know better too—in other words…keep your mouth shut to her…or anyone connected to her…none of this is her fault and she shouldn’t be punished for it (nor should my Wife and I, but we will take it if we must)

I am afraid that Monica’s parents are going to treat us like we are more social outcasts than we already are…like we are out worshipping Satan (Ave Natas) on the weekends, drinking goats blood, and providing free abortions in our home….well that just isnt the case (in fact, we are both still pro-life, though she is more adamant about it than I am). Monica and I have always been outcasts, usually because of our viewpoints or faith…you see, when we were fervent Christians, they always thought we took that too far…they went as far to go to the church we attended to make sure that we weren’t joining a cult.

I think the most annoying part of this is that no one in her family, or my family for that matter, has ever been devoted to god, the church, christ, and our faith as we once were. Her parents honestly aren’t very devoted at all in any way that I have ever seen. So why would it bother them that we no longer believe?

I will keep you updated on this…it might get rough.

  • I wish you a thick skin and a strong will.

    Perhaps they’ll be rational and realise how long this has been going on, and that you’re not a different person.

  • Your post brought this to mind…


  • I think they have a right to try and convince you, just as much as you have a right to convince them they are wrong. But the whole social outcast thing has never settled with me, and it only proves your point to a degree. A real Christian would not treat someone as an outcast.

    Good luck with this, and if all else fails just stir clear of The Rhine.

    • What with all these fake christians and fake scottsmen running around who can you really trust?

  • Your inlaws may have outcast you but God loves you and the more you fight that love the more God will put that love in your heart.
    I too was on outcast.

  • Matt

    @ Robert: LOL that was hilarious….”You’re not getting anything for christmas because Christmas is all about Jesus Christ”

    if she only knew lol

    @ Ronald: True that, Rhine is enemy territory lol

    @ Larry: My faith made me the outcast that I was, being the only full gospel exorcist in my high school could result in a few awkward situations and insights. But that is an intensely long story. Thank you for your concern .

  • If I were you (and I kind of wish I was, nobody seems to ever ask me about religion and I LOVE talking about it!). Ahem, if I were you, I would take this as an opportunity. Share with them your information, why you no longer believe in the Bible. If they’re grounded in their faith, they should welcome such a discussion. If they don’t want to talk about it, they have their own doubts.
    As for bringing a pastor over to talk to you, well that’s just an exciting opportunity! To be a pastor would requre a lot of education about religion and the Bible, who better to have a real good conversation/debate with?
    I say jump into this head first armed with facts and questions 🙂

  • Matt

    well…i do like to talk about it, obviously…its just, southern baptists man…they are rough—closed minded people. but i do hope to use this as an opportunity to pose my side to them.

  • Out of genuine interest, why do you post on christianbloggersunite? Is it counter-evangelism or something else?


  • my reasons are various. Dialog is important…counter-evangelism is…an interest of mine….more than anything i just want an open dialog…and it helps being people here. There are nice folks there…some of them may be leaning my way…they might need someone like me to talk to about their doubts too….

    lots of reasons

    none malevolent though

  • BJ

    Matt, I mean no disrespect to you with what I’m about to say, I’m simply offering some advice as a parent. I don’t know your parents or your in-laws, but you owe it to them to be honest. This needs to come from you and not a third party.

    Sure, they will probably be hurt, angry and even disappointed, but just as God has an unconditional love for us, so do parents for their children.

    Just try and remember this won’t be easy for them either. Give them a chance to vent and try to listen to their concerns.

    I will praying for all of you.

    Peace out,

    p.s. I’m glad to know we’re nice folks over at CBU 🙂

  • andy

    Theres a youtube video where Dan Savage talks about coming out (he's talking about sexuality) to fundie parents. I think it applies pretty well to Atheists. Go in and say "this is who we are, and we're not changing, we love you and still want to be part of the family. You have a year to get over this, after that we're done and are cutting off". Then follow through

  • GermanDude

    Your wifes family sucks, if they don't accept that you and your wife are rational people, then there is something seriously wrong with THEM.
    God I would hate to have a dipshit family like that….