explaining yesterday

Just wanted to give an update on the issues from yesterday. If you don’t know, my dad  has been a non-present entity for most of my life, the times that he was there he didn’t generate very many good memories–what with his alcoholism, physical/mental abuse, and drug abuse. He likes his pills…lots of of em too. My whole family on his side is pretty well on this crap or has been at some time. I used to call it my family curse…but now i just think its lack of will power and education…

anyway, a while back we had him commited to a nursing home, you cant care for an abusive drunkard that takes all of his monthly meds within a week of filling the perscription…I can’t anyway, and i sure as hell won’t-especially for a father like him. So he stayed at that nursing home, about 2 minutes from my house, for about 2 weeks….he started claiming they were trying to kill him because he couldnt get high—so i removed him after he promised he wouldnt do it again—he was ok for about a week. I also told him it was his last chance with me, I wasn’t gonna do it again.

So when I went on my vacation to Pigeon Forge I got a call…i ignored it and my sister got him put in a different nursing home…this was about 4 months ago–he has been there since then. Yesterday the nursing home called me and told me that he had come home drunk after being with his sister for the weekend (a bad idea, she shouldn’t have been allowed to take him in the first place) and was being violent with the staff. So i called my sister, told her to handle it, i was done with him. So she never called me back after the last time i spoke with her, i have a feeling she doesn’t want to deal with it either…my hands are washed of him entirely.

Does that sound crude or mean? Heartless? hell yes, get over it. If you think it is…i can hook you up with a live in A$$hole that would LOVE to ruin your life.

and still

i feel guilty.