Relatively speaking 2008 has actually been one of my better years, 2004 kicked my behind because of issues with my family..2005 was a frustrating year working for the bank and getting paid jack for it and the whole buying this wreck of a house thing, that and I was a very frustrated virgin on the verge of losing my mind to get some of that snatch (Wink at Monica) 2006-2007 just sucked because I was emotionally and spiritually inept and more confused than ever, plus my wife and I were constantly broke and one thing after a nother just kept screwing up or someone was screwing me over. Not that people haven’t been doing their fair share of screwing me over this year…but something changed this year.
2008 was the year I came out of the closet of doubt…I was not only able to admit to myself and the world that my doubts were completely justified, but that I could indeed live a life without a need for God. With that admission came alot of initial bitterness, which I have to say I am very proud of myself for dissipating most of that within about 6 months…(thanks to you folks that bore with me during this time, I’m sorry I was such an ass…seriously) After that bitterness subsided I just started feeling something very strange—completely and totally unprevoked happiness! Coming out of the darkness of confusion I was for once able to smile because there was no majickal man in the sky telling me how to live and directing my path, for once in my life it’s all up to me. 2008 is the year that I became the God of my own destiny. I think I have finally learned how to not be the victim anymore, but to be the causal property in my own equation-How powerful does that feel!
Now I know, there is a pretty severe financial crisis occuring right now, one that has not negatively impacted me whatsoever, and for that I am very lucky (it’s not like the damn thing wasn’t intentionally created anyway). This didn’t suprise me at all since I have expected the housing market to begin a major decline and subsequently BUST since roughly 2005-2006. In my humble economic opinion, this whole thing is just one huge entirely intentional market correction…and it ain’t even close to over. I digress….just don’t sit around worrying about saving your pennies, they won’t be worth a whole lot soon enough so all that saving will be a waste…. (here we come Amero and NAU!)
In 2008 my marriage has improved tenfold…we get along better, we love one another more, sex is better…I can’t pinpoint the cause, but somehow everything in our relationship has improved, I hope it continues to get better in 2009.
Politically speaking, the world still sucks, the US still panders to every desire of the nation of Isreal while they pound Hammas and millions of innocent Palestineans- I can’t say that is something that will ever change unless our own human consciousness just decides to do a massive wake up, but it saddens me still. The US voted for an African-American President, not that he is some revolutionary or even slightly representative of any of the changes I would like to see, but at the very least it shows me that just a TINY little bit of tolerance and love may have slipped into our mindsets. He may not be the messiah that some think he is, but he is symbolic of a lot of things that may eventually influence our politics in the future. Barack Obama doesn’t represent Hope to me, but his election does-I’m gonna hold on to that and try to be , like Ghandi said, the Change I wish to see in this world, then maybe we can see real change, real Hope, real Revolution.
2009 is just a few hours away right now, for me I am very hopeful, for the rest of the world though, I just see more doom. I hope I am wrong about that, I hope that this is the year of the Great Awakening (you know, I love twisting these Christian concepts to fit my needs). This year, lets open our minds, learn some things, love some people…this year let’s fight against a common enemy that wants to keep us in the dark (I won’t define that enemy here), let’s think! This year Revolt, Resist and Rebel!