Pastor Guy recently responded to my request for some inspiration, his original topic starter was the inability to prove that emotions exist in the human race. I have to say that guy may be confused as to just what human emotions are other than chemical reactions in the body/brain but they seem to be pretty well set in stone to me- so that’s one worm I won’t bite. However, when I asked Guy in a private email to explain his contention a little more clearly he left a little quip at the end of the email that made my knee jerk just a bit. Pastor Guy knows how to get a rise out of me (Which is why he might just be the resident smart ass here at RagingRev- a title I think he may gladly accept).

So, what did Guy say?

…could my statement of “Dormant Christian” to describe you be a worthy topic?

What an interesting position…”Dormant Christian”! Guy is proposing that because I was at one time a devoted Christian (Saved, if you will) then technically I am still a Christian. Guy evidently ascribes to the doctrine of “Once Saved , Always Saved”…if you aren’t familiar with that, its one of those small controversial doctrines that Christians like to debate and argue over. When I was a Christian my position was strangely similar to Guy’s, however I was not very solid on it…it wasn’t considered cardinal in my life but I always WANTED to believe something like that. Now though, I have to look at it from the outside…and it’s just one of those things that you don’t think about until you hear it or read it like I did when Guy said that…it kind of…caught me off guard.

So what is an ex-christian supposed to feel when approached with a contention like this? Personally I feel kinda irked about it. What this means for me is that my fate isn’t even in my hands anymore, that because I once believed I am going to be forced into heaven with a god I abhor. I sought this god out, made him the most important thing in my life and now that I have come to the understanding that this god does not exist, and that if he DOES exist I really don’t want anything to do with him I still have to tolerate his presence for all eternity?

What ever happened to all this crap I keep hearing about free will? One of the first things a Christian brings up when discussing religion with me is how God allows us to stray from him, and that he didn’t really just set us up for failure (yea right, have you read ANY religious texts at all?). I want to be able to veto this thing….somehow, I really don’t want to go to heaven, I don’t want to see God in any form anymore because I personally think his character is deplorable.

So…what do I do? Does any one else agree with this doctrine? Is there a way to get my ticket to heaven revoked?

Does anyone understand where I am coming from?