Sudden Uncontrollable Fits of Jesus

Has anyone else out there ever noticed that when someone you previously had no clue was  “religious” finds out that you are an atheist – that they suddenly have this uncontrollable  internal revival?

I’ve had one of these rather entertaining experiences recently, while sitting at my desk at a location I dare not mention I overheard two gentlemen talking about  women, particularly the naked kind.   As one of these gentlemen walked past the desk I was at he noticed the book I was reading – The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins. He asked me about it and I explained that it was about evolution and explained the premise of the book….

Instantaneously it’s as if all this mans years of church going culminated in this one moment as he asked, “You think we came from monkeys?  So god didn’t create you and me?”

I said, “Apes actually – and I don’t believe in god.”

The other gentlemen then exclaimed, “if we came from apes how come there are still apes?”

I facepalm, literally, then ask, “if we came from Europeans why are there still Europeans?”

“That’s just stupid”


The first gentleman continues to witness to me, while just moments ago was ogling over a half naked girl.  I  found it hilarious just how quickly he became an authoritative representative of the Christian faith the moment he figured out that I didn’t believe what he did and felt the need to share that faith with me.

Being the Atheist in the room, sometimes, is like having this giant target on your back – we can turn a lackluster, backslidden Christian into an instant Evangelist in mere moments…churches really should start putting us on the payroll.  More often than not, I find that the truly devoted Christians don’t have this instantaneous transformation when they recognize my lack of faith – it’s only those that seem to have something to prove or a penance to pay (and a bare minimal of Biblical understanding).  That’s when I usually pull out my old Bible, so that I can tell them the things it actually says.


*For the record, I was ogling the hot chick too (some model)…  I just didn’t try to convert anyone seconds later.  😉

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